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Naive!!! — College Stories: My Girlfriend Is Too

“Babe, that’s a scam.” “But it says ‘congratulations’ and has a smiley face!” “So does my Venmo request for ‘emotional damages.’ Doesn’t mean it’s legit.”

The kicker? Her roommate’s sketchy ex-boyfriend asked to “crash for a few days.” She said yes without asking a single question. I had to explain that “crashed” doesn’t just mean tired—it means living on your futon and eating your ramen. college stories: my girlfriend is too naive!!!

So, my girlfriend is the sweetest person alive—genuinely kind, always sees the best in people, and believes the world is basically a Disney movie. At first, I thought it was adorable. Now? I’m low-key terrified for her. “Babe, that’s a scam

Last week, she got an email saying she’d won a “college giveaway” — a brand new laptop and $500. All she had to do was send her social security number and a $50 “processing fee.” She was already reaching for her wallet when I stopped her. So, my girlfriend is the sweetest person alive—genuinely

I love her, I really do. But I’ve started proofreading her life choices like they’re freshman essays. And honestly? I’m one more “but they seemed nice!” away from wrapping her in bubble wrap and hiding her in the library.

Then yesterday, she left her dorm room unlocked all day because “someone might need to borrow a charger.” A stranger could’ve walked in, taken her stuff, and she’d probably leave a note saying “Hope you enjoy the snacks!”

My girlfriend is so naive she’d probably thank a scammer for the “life lesson.” Pray for me.