I Always Had A Crush On Him Ana Rose -

I always had a crush on him. To write that sentence now, in the past tense, feels like a small betrayal—not of him, but of the girl I used to be. Because a crush, when held for that long, stops being a simple feeling. It becomes a landscape. It becomes the furniture of your youth.

I remember the specific gravity of his presence. When he walked into a room, I didn’t gasp. Instead, my shoulders would lower by half an inch, as if a tension I didn’t know I was carrying had finally been released. He was the definition of a safe harbor, and I was a ship that never learned how to dock. We orbited each other in that peculiar space between friendship and something else—a gravitational pull I felt in my ribs every time he laughed at his own jokes or pushed his hair back when he was thinking. i always had a crush on him ana rose

Of course, it never did. The tragedy is not that he didn’t love me back. The tragedy is that I let the crush become a wall instead of a door. I loved the idea of him so fiercely that I forgot to check if the real, breathing, flawed human in front of me actually fit the portrait I had painted. I always had a crush on him