Disclaimer: This is a fictional, artistic representation created for educational and empathetic purposes. It is not a clinical diagnostic tool. OSDD-1b is a complex dissociative disorder; this piece aims to capture one subjective internal experience.
We are not like the others. The ones with the amnesia walls, the fortress of “I don’t remember.” osdd 1b
And because we remember every handoff, every mood swing, every contradiction... we also remember the loneliness of knowing you are a committee, not a captain. We are not like the others
I remember K. making toast. I remember the warmth of her joy. But I cannot feel why it was there. It sits in my chest like a photograph of a stranger’s birthday. I was there. I have the proof. But the emotional negative is blank. I remember K
And J. I remember his spiral. I remember the weight on the sternum. I remember the exact words of the argument. But when I try to summon the despair, it evaporates. It’s not mine. It was his . He is me, but he is not me .
But when K. holds our partner’s hand, she feels love. When J. holds the same hand, he feels obligation . When the Host holds it, they feel fear of losing it .