Ouija.cpp < 90% Ultimate >

/* * WARNING: This software is for entertainment purposes only. * The author is not responsible for: * - Unexplained RAM usage * - Noises coming from your speakers at 3:00 AM * - Your roommate finding you whispering "std::vector" in your sleep * - Actual demonic possession (If you debug using printf, you're already possessed) */ You need g++ , ncurses (for the drifting cursor effect), and a strong constitution.

class Planchette private: int x, y; // Coordinates on the board grid string targetMessage; string constructedMessage; chrono::steady_clock::time_point lastMove; public: void drift(); bool confirmLetter(); void renderBoard(); // ASCII art of the Ouija layout bool isPossessed(); // Returns true if the stack overflows ; The scariest part of a Ouija board isn't the spirits—it's the ideomotor effect (where your brain moves the planchette subconsciously). ouija.cpp

There is a specific kind of chill that runs down your spine when a compiler throws an error you cannot explain. It is the feeling of touching something just beyond the edge of human logic. /* * WARNING: This software is for entertainment

$ ./ouija.cpp Initializing spirit board... [DONE] Ask your question: > Who is watching me? | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | | V | W | X | Y | Z | 1 | 2 | [ YES ] [ NO ] [ GOODBYE ] There is a specific kind of chill that

It also printed "The answer is 42" when I asked for the meaning of life, which tells me one of two things: either I have successfully created an AI with a sense of humor, or I have a very boring ghost who likes Douglas Adams.