The cannons of the 1812 Overture exploded from the truck’s speakers. The bass rattled the windows. The brass section soared so clearly that Sheldon could hear the spit in the trumpet player’s mouthpiece.

Billy had just shrugged and pressed play. A tinny, compressed version of “Who Let the Dogs Out” filled the air.

“He’s been like this since Billy Sparks showed him that iPod,” Mary sighed.

He’d spent his entire weekly allowance ($3.47) on a single FLAC file of the 1812 Overture from a niche online store. But there was a problem: his family’s computer speakers were the ones that came free with their Gateway desktop in 1992.

Missy covered her ears. “Turn it down! You’re gonna wake up Grandma!”

“I haven’t stated my request yet.”

“It’s Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture ,” Sheldon said, opening his eyes. “And it’s not beep-boop . It’s a FLAC file.”