"According to my calculations, the United States Patent and Trademark Office receives over 600,000 applications annually. Statistically speaking, my odds of approval are slightly better than being struck by lightning while holding a winning lottery ticket."

"That’s encouraging, honey."

"Did someone say 'irradiate'? That’s my cue to switch to tequila." End credits style: Produced for home viewing. 480p resolution suitable for older displays or bandwidth-conscious streaming.

"Don’t worry. The critical mass is small enough that a containment breach would only irradiate this zip code."